My ADHD is my husband. he is 60, says he has it and has tested twice but both results came back as he doesn't has one. We have been to counseling but didn't work. Since the test results say he doesn't have ADHD, there is no treatment plan. We've been together 9 years.

My biggest issue with him is his rage, the extremely short fuse, not own his mistake and very mean. I used to think, "This is because ADHD, we just need to keep looking for a better doctor." But at this point, I am exhausted. Finding a good doctor for this issue is really hard and confusing. Since we have tried and saw some doctors who say that they treat ADHD but they were not experts.... Meanwhile, fights and arguments keep continue. At this point, I am exhausted and never been depressed like this before. I have been lonely. 

Yes, ADHD is causing so many parts of our lives but even someone who has it can feel bad or sorry after he/she yells or rage, don't they? Don't they have some sort of regret and say sorry? My husband doesn't apologizes. Never. Everything, everything is my fault. Now when he angry at me, I just go to my room spend my time alone. 

He says sometimes he would try a new doctor if I find a good one but how long would it take him to behave better? Or would it even work? 

He spent this weekend cleaning a senior neighbor's yard. He does something good for someone but not for me. He used to call me "my lovey assistant". He was joking but it wasn't joke to me. I do all my house stuff - cleaning, all grocery shopping, refilling his prescriptions, make his doctors appointments, cooking, laundries, pay bills, weeding, watering, etc. I have asked him why he wouldn't;t help me. He said that's because he works 40 hours and I work just 25 hours. 

At this point, I am not sure his mean behaviors are caused by ADHD or it might be just him. 

How did you bring back yourself to move forward? I need some positive energy. It's been so sad.