explaining why he can't work

What is a good response when friends ask why my ADD/ADHD husband cannot work?  They all know others with the disability that work.  I try to expain that symptoms vary but it never seems to satisfy them.

they might never be statisfied

The truth is they might never be satisfied with the answer you give them.  Like so many people, I knew very little and understood less about this disorder until I met my partner and I was able to observe ADD in daily life.  I find this is one of the loneliest aspects of dating someone with this disorder, that is, feeling a little alienated from my friends.  I used to turn to them for advice or simply to commiserate about relationship problems but they can't relate to what I'm experiencing.   They try to be supportive, but there is still a barrier to real understanding.  

So no real advice from me I'm afraid, but I wanted to let you know I know where you're coming from!

Linsy's picture


He just needs to get help with his issues and find a job that he loves.

Pink's picture

I have the same question

My husband never work... he is 37 years old.. we been married for 11 years. I am the sole person working same age... I have 2 kids and they are in school now. My friends ask me what is wrong with him? Why can't he works? His parents never support him to work... everything was giving to him.... when we got marry they stop supporting him. I told him he needs to work... he keep saying no one is hiring and I can not find one.  we are now in couple counseling and she asks him every week that one of his goal he must find a job and work. he keeps going around the subject and still haven't gotten one. years and years going by.... what kid of life is living at home everyday doing nothing. Now, my friends tell me it is my fault for allowing him to stay home.  When I find a job I give him the address but I can't hold his hand and take him there he must do it by himself. Let me know when you find the answer...