I hadn't done this before....so I looked up the differences between men and woman when it comes to the construct of Internal vs External Locus of control..and I ran across just one article that was enlightening to say the least. Getting right to the heart of this matter as the article suggests........
Locus of Control, Coping, and Sex
The literature has shown a relationship between locus of control, coping, and sex.The present study explores the relationships between these constructs. In this study, three hypotheses were tested: (1) Males should have a stronger belief in an internal locus of control and females should have a stronger belief in a powerful-others locus of control;(2) Males and females should prefer different coping behaviors; and (3) Males shouldhave a stronger correlations between an internal locus of control and the different coping behaviors, while females should have a stronger correlation between a powerful others locus of control and the different coping behaviors. The 72 participants (20 males and 52females) were drawn from BU undergraduates that were in PS325 or that were friends of those in PS325. Each participant completed two measures - Levenson’s Internality,Powerful Others, and Chance Scales (Levenson, 1981) and Carver and his colleagues’Brief COPE Inventory (Carver et al., 1997) - and were asked their sex. This study found that there were no sex differences in perceived locus of control, that each sex preferred a number of different coping behaviors, and that there were few sex differences in the strengths of correlation between locus of control and coping behaviors.
Individuals in western culture are socialized to view females as lesser than males. As a result, males view themselves as powerful and independent. On the other hand, females view themselves as weak and dependent upon males. The different role of males and females is used to explain sex differences in personality traits.As a result of different gender roles, each sex should have a difference in perceived locus of control. Males should have a stronger perception of an internal locus of control and females should have a stronger perception of an external locus of control.If this is true, then the previously described relationship between locus of control and coping should also appear between genders. The more external females should show a preference for coping behaviors that rely on others, while the more internal males should show a preference for coping behaviors that rely on themselves..................though this appears to be a valid conceptualization of LOC, it presents a number of problems. The first problem is externality’s ambiguity. To describe an individual as external is to say that he or she believes that any outside source determines the out come of an event. The outside source could be another individual, luck, or god. It is impossible to distinguish these varying views when externality is treated as a single sub construct.
The key components or definitions here that are relevant to "external locus of control" to me are:
Constructs : Beliefs
Coping with stress
And Maladaptive means to relieve stress
Further, this article went on to say....as a result of different gender roles, each sex should have a difference in perceived locus of control. Males should have a stronger perception of an internal locus of control and females should have a stronger perception of an external locus of control.If this is true, then the previously described relationship between locus of control and coping should also appear between genders. The more external females should show a preference for coping behaviors that rely on others, while the more internal males should show a preference for coping behaviors that rely on themselves............
Defining Coping Style:
Coping refers to how an individual consciously responds to stress (Haan, 1977;Cramer, 1998). It was initially described as two, independent sub constructs (e.g., Waysof Coping; Folkman et al., 1980). The first sub construct, problem-focused coping,includes cognitions and behaviors that act to alter or resolve stress. An example of a problem-focused behavior is planning. The second sub construct is emotion-focused coping and includes cognition and behaviors that attenuate the negative emotions.....
Locus of Control, Coping, and Sex A behavioral example of emotion-focused coping is venting (Folkman et al.,1980).A criticism of early measures of coping is that they only measured positive forms of coping. However, some individuals will respond to stress in a nonproductive way.
This led to the creation of a third sub construct known as avoidant or maladaptive coping in measures such as the Coping Strategy Index (CSI; Amirkhan, 1990). Mal adaptive coping is any behavior or cognition that serves to escape from, but not resolve, a stress.This includes behaviors such as substance use (Amirkhan, 1990; Carver et al. 1989)
The key terms in this section for me are:
Avoidant / Non Productive
Resolution or better NON Resolution
This is exactly what I see. This is the What and the Why both explained to me and now....I have to sit back and soak this all in?
My personal feelings about this when I read it only made me angry. It confirmed what I have know most my life..and now I know why? Powerful others? Give me a break!!! I'm not a powerful other...in respect to a person? That's not my job..to be a powerful other and this seems so disrespectful...and I don't even know how to put this into words? As defined....my place in this construct ( which is just a stupid belief ) since no evidence supports any differences between men and women ( by nature ) to support any of this hog wash in terms of "social constructs" which is all that this is? I realize I am fighting against something I have no control over....but none the less....just because I have no means to fight against something ( I feel is personally stupid ) doesn't mean I have any power to do anything about it....even if it's stupid and completely ridiculous??
I mean really....all that makes me is a "thing" or vehicle for someone else's dysfunction which is exactly what it feels like.....being "used" which it is? But I also have to apply some compassion...because this is no ones fault...in particular? Woman..are not "weaker" than men as been proven scientifically through thousands upon thousands of test and research? And men and women are not different inherently..and this is Nurtures fault? It is what you are "taught" in other words..and are only belief in something that is not true and I personally...never believed it was which is why this is so frustrating? You can blame this on men in one respect...but you also have to consider...that there are plenty of women out there who don't or who didn't believe it either which is also very true...even in the past?
What I feel strongly...and even more now so.....that strength comes from within....and strength in terms of coping....is really what this is talking about anyway?
I guess for now.....I just wanted to put this out there as a means to explain something....intangible but yet real? And possibly...shine a spot light on what is wrong....so as not to blame "things" on thr wrong "things"...and in doing so....get to the bottom of it?
This "Powerful Others" thing...is the one I'm having the most difficulty with? I find this so offensive and so contrite...that is un-nerves me and I feel a fair amount of resentment over it? I am not...a "thing" to serve a construct or misguided belief? I am also not in service or designed to serve two masters in this way. That goes so against everything I believe in for myself and for anyone else for that matter....that the only way I can see this as "using others" to get what you want in a very selfish and self serving way...only due to what is easy and a belief and nothing more? It's using another Human being is what it is....and I find that offensive and outrageous....even if it is just a construct which is nothing more than believing something that is not true and a lie? It's the construct that's a lie.....even though I know that it is...it still makes me angry...and it still makes me feel like I am being used.
The one thing I know about myself and this much is true....."I don't dance or perform"....or "cater" to someone else beliefs if they are being imposed on me surreptitiously..and presented in a package marked....."should be" and presented as if...."I should?" And then.... have them get angry at me for "not dancing" and "performing for them"...and doing a "Jig" while they look and in entertainment? Because I'm suppose to. So they won't have to? This guy don't dance for anyone especially...an outdated, outmoded , and untrue false belief like this one and the construct designed to make me do so?
To be sure....I am not talking directly about my wife...but only what she believes which can be changed if she felt like it....by just deciding to do so over night? It still leaves her without the coping mechanisms though....which is part of what makes me angry? The way and the means to cope...and HOW she is trying to use me to do so? The main point that resonated with me however...is confirming that this is not my job and I don;t work for her inability...and that fact that it is not designed to get resolution...and only designed to relieve "stress" at my expense? This was confirming and validating. What I do with it...will be up to me to decide?
Mental....not ....physical weakness. Just like I said?? And men...have got no corner on the market in that area...as a proven fact? In fact.....probably lessor so..for a man with ADHD just to begin with? Which means...the amount of work and effort to exceed a woman in this area....as it suggests from this misguided construct....is really hypocritical and really is like playing both sides of the fence which is totally unfair but...what are you going to do about it? Fight city Hall? I don't think so...but it doesn't make it right?
I will say this for the sake of argument? My ego not only does not need to be the "Powerful Other One"....and I get absolutely nothing from being that and playing this ridiculous role if that is "my role" that I am expected to play? To the point...it only takes from me a way....that causes me to be resentful and feel disrespected? It's Fake....is what it is....and definitely NOT REAL or realistic...in reality....not some fairy tale or social construct? For what it's worth? I know this is a vent...and I know why it is...but it really is something that has to be dealt with in reality....even if it is only a belief and nothing more? It reminds me of something I said ( somewhere in here? )....If you want to make a believer out of someone.....experiences IS the best teacher?