I just had a light bulb moment.
During our 1st 2 years of dating, I noticed my husband was forgetful and clumsy. I noticed that he had organizational problems, and problems focusing, but I thought it was due to his heavy stress load due to residency/parent issues.
During our 1st 2 years of marriage, these things became more noticeable and I became more angry.
- i cannot rely on him, even for simple things
- i feel alone, a lot
- he constantly needs to "clear his head"-- which leaves me a lone
- i have to keep track of myself, my career, and his stuff.. which is mentally exhausting for me
- he is emotionally labile, extreme emotions
- i cannot even speak to him without getting into an argument
- im so sick of the forgetfulness, because it means i have to remember everything
- it feels like i have a child, not a partner
- im scared to have children with him, because i know i will have a breakdown. i cannot keep track of everyone and everything
- i can no longer tolerate or deal with his anger issues
- his pacing up and down constantly is so bothersome to me
- i can see that friends/family look at him like he is so bizarre, which makes me feel uncomfortable
- i am having a lot of anxiety about the future... because i cannot tolerate this for the rest of my life
- i feel like i am losing myself, i am tired of giving and giving and taking care of him
- i just want to have an equal partner
- there is so much more to this....
I am so happy that I found this website. I dont want to leave my husband, but I know that I cannot be in a marriage like this forever. I just cant, none of my needs are being met.
Please help me :(