Fears of Marriage

Hello everyone... I am the non-adhd person. I am really scared about getting married! I just don't know if I have the patience for this. I hate to say it but I feel like a mother to a 36 year old kid. I have read other peoples struggles and I totally relate. He moves stuff or throws things away but doesn't believe he did it. We are the only 2 in the house! (He says "if I did that then I am sorry" I want to strangle him when he says that!!) I make a chore list because he "doesn't know what to do" so he wanted it written down... he has never looked at it. I have to every morning write on a piece of paper what 2 things I need him to do. I have to constantly tell him to do stuff that should be just normal things. It's very frustrating. He also believes he is "handling it" but he isn't. He feels he is trying but I don't see it. It almost seems like he really has no insight into himself if that makes sense. Also I feel alone most of the time. I talk to him but he can't emotionally be there. He can repeat what I said but that's just repeating...no emotional connection there, is this normal for adhd? 

He really is a sweet guy and loves me more than anyone could. But social skills are horrible. I try to get him to read articles or books but he doesn't. It's really hard since we work different shifts so the weekends are when we really see each other. How do you guys handle this stuff? Any coping skills or techniques you could help me to learn? I would like to put the wedding off but it would kill him and I feel it's just to late to stop it (Sept 30th). I fear the "forever" part. HELP!!!