This time of year my ADHD DH is in the midst of harvest/hunting and is typically gone for at least a month. I usually can't wait until he's gone so I can clean the house, get things in order around the house, and in general - just relax. This year for some reason has been very different (yet the same) from the previous years. I don't know if it is me or what so I'm looking at you guys for advice.
Before he left this time I voiced my concerns. When he's gone the communication usually ceases completely. We've been in counseling and he's been going to a new therapist/physiologist (only 2 appts before he left) but I feel like there are so many unresolved issues and that "leaving" them for a month isn't going to help.
I'll admit - I'm very resentful of his time gone. We have 2 children and while he says he is gone to make money for the family, he would do it even if he didn't get paid because he enjoys it. In addition, with his compulsive spending, the majority of what he does make - he spends on items that are not beneficial to the family at all.
The first two weeks he was gone he called once to talk to the boys (2 hrs. after their regularly scheduled bedtime). He admitted in his vm that he knew it was late and that they were probably in bed.
He had to work at his regular job one day and posted on there how much he enjoyed farming but that he missed his family. I don't understand how he can post that but he can't pick up the phone to call? When he's farming he is over 2 hrs. away - when he is at work he is less then 30 min. away. I would have been happy to have taken the kids into see him had I known he was at work.
When he left he took our pickup that pulls our trailer. I informed him I needed it back for a vet appt. this past weekend. He kept telling me he'd have it back. Friday (my appt. was Sat.) it still wasn't back so when I questioned him about it his reply was "you can come get it but I'm to busy to bring it to you). I couldn't go get it because I can't get out two boys safely in his pickup to trade so I had to make other arrangements. I could have easily gotten it the day he was at work had I known he was there.
So to shorten things up a bit - I'm beyond frustrated. When I text him - he doesn't reply. When I call him, he doesn't answer. His only response to this is "you know I'm busy". I sent him a message telling him when he doesn't respond/acknowledge my text it feels like he doesn't care. He still won't acknowledge. I have a bb so I can tell when he reads his text which just makes me more frustrated.
I'll add - he has asked me several times what more I want from him. In his eyes he has gone to counseling, gone to a shrink, and taken meds for me. What more could I possibly want? Well a lot of things but communication would be nice for starters.