Feeling ignored and how to cope

I dont know how much longer I can go without affection, attention or a feeling that Im loved by my ADHD boyfriend. We've been together for over 3 years and have a 17 month old daughter and I have an 11 year old son from a previous relationship that is very close to my boyfriend. So I have every reason to want to make this work. But how long can a person go feeling completely ignored?? I'm asking anyone with experience in a situation such as this how they find a way not to take it to heart. Because I do. I've tried everything to get his attention but nothing seems to work. The hardest part of all this is separating my anger and with him from other areas of my life. I have 2 wonderful children. A good job I've enjoyed for over 14 years where I feel appreciated and loved. I'm an empathetic, caring person. To a fault if u ask the people closest to me. And while I know I'm attractive, the lack of attention from my partner makes me constantly strive for perfection in my appearance. To the point that I feel very insecure at times. My boyfriend never tells me he loves me. Even though when we first met he was head over heels, adoring and attentive. Which in the typical adhd fashion, began to diminish once we got serious and began trying to have a baby. I went from being his entire world to feeling invisible almost overnight. His attention for me has since been placed on stopping for drinks and a "bite to eat" with his friends. And he doesn't even call to let me know.. While I rush to get the kids after work. I feel like there's barely enough time in the day to work, take care of the children and the house while he gets to be spontaneous and social. There's no date night, no bday presents, no romance of any kind. I even take my kids on vacation by myself..... I do know that he loves me and our children and that he wants this to work. But I don't know if I can spend the rest of my life feeling lonely and without affection. How do all of u in my position cope with being ignored? I would like to learn how to not let his behavior or lack of behavior effect me so much. Thank u in advance for your response.

I wish I could really give

I wish I could really give you better advice here, but I'm in the same situation with my ADHD Husband. He ignores me and I can't help not taking it to heart. It doesn't help at all that I had a rough childhood where I felt really neglected since my Mother was always either working or too tired to spend time with me (she was older when she had me). I feel like I've never really received the attention I deserve in any of my relationships. It's certainly a very tough situation to be in. I'm sure your situation is also tougher because you have children. The problems in our marriage that were created because of my Husband's untreated ADHD are one of the top reasons we decided never to have children. Having children tends to make things worse and is more challenging when ADHD is involved. Is your Husband on any kind of medication for ADHD or in therapy? If not, I highly recommend both. I think you both should be in therapy really. My Husband and I started seeing a therapist who understands ADHD very well and it has been a positive experience so far. He is also going on medication this week and we're hoping it will help a lot. We have heard that going on medication can help a lot with the inattention symptom. If your boyfriend refuses to get any kind of treatment for ADHD then I really don't think you should stick with him. You should talk to him and help him to fully understand how his symptoms make you feel. I wish you the best of luck!