feeling lost

My partner and I have been together for 41/2 years i love him dearly and know we are good and strong together. My partner suffers with depression and adhd. I'm a nurse with back ground in working with children with disabilities so have always felt that i do have more understanding of adhd. So far this has been helpful in developing a way of living each day for both of us.

A few weeks ago i had some terrible news and have been struggling each day to get out of bed, my partner was great the first weekend but now it feels like he's not coping cause I'm not coping, i want to scream at him just to give me a cuddle and say it will be ok but he can't and i do understand that emtions are very difficult for him to deal with.

Yesterday after seeing this web site i tried discussing how i was feeling, saying that I'd seen this website and that i thought it would help with our long term communication when things happen that effect me and how i don't feel supported and how we can work on it together. But he refused to acknowledge any of it just said it was a way of me turning things to be his fault and that he don't understand emotions and is not interested in learning or exploring ways we can improve

 I said in tears that I'm worried if anything happened like my parents passing away that I'd be given one weekend of sympathy then would have to get on with it as he can't cope and becomes depressed and we argue all the time as i may say something he don't like or use a tone which I'm completely unaware of.

I'm so worried that in the long term without us learning to deal with difficult situation that i will grow to resent him and the adhd which i hope will never happen but how do i deal with this. I feel so alone.