Feeling Sad and Alone

After it's all said and done, I feel so sad and alone.

It feels like the only way I can get some emotional needs met is if I "give in" and accept that my husband is a slave laborer, and messy and we will never get out of this house because he won't get rid of his crap nor will he take care of his bills.  He will never plan anything.... well you all know the drill.

In other words to get some companionship, I need to accept all these irritating bits.

He will be thrilled if I cook all the dinners and clean and continue to pay the bills.  IOW be a perfect 1950's wife and a perfect 2018 breadwinner.

Sure, who wouldn't be happy with that......

This isn't compromise.  This isn't working together.  This is complete surrender into the ADD vortex.

I will get some companionship but at what cost?