Feeling so down today


I am new here (non ADD), and I know that every relationship and ADD person is different, but do any of you non-ADD-female partner have some advice on how not be afraid of arguments?

 I always end up starting never-ending/heartbreaking disputes (by acting strange, poor listening, avoiding) because I am so focused on trying to avoid arguments, and when solving the argument I never get it right. My partner ends up feeling rejected, not listened to, and he has all the reasons to believe so, but somehow his idea of me is not quite right. We can't build anything because it is so hard to speak to me. Also, unlike what I read on other posts he is more the one acting like a parent and me behaving more and more like a child.

Feeling particularly desperate today because of another small argument leading to all the wrong I did. And feeling so lonely and confused about everything.