new guy here. I am the pt in our relationship and that part is well taken and acknowledged by both of us. My fist apparent problem to my wife was my alcoholism so we admitted myself into 30 in pt program and got a great doc. We discovered I was self medicating a lot of issues ADHD being primary.
She stayed by my side supporting me every way possible. I love her dearly. However, we have a kind of relationship I've never had before. We argue every day over stupid things that she brings up for the most part. I have had 4 serious long term relationships in the past and have never argued like we do. Some say it because she is Mexican. Lol. Sometimes I think I just compare it too much to my most recent relationship in which we were absolute soul mates who never argued a day in seven years. We understood each other completely and never questioned anything the other did. It was just known that it was for a good reason.
So now, as much as I love her I have difficulties because she questions every single thing I do or say. My driving, my cinicism, my comments, questions. One of my biggest ADHD traits is I love to teach what I know. I like meeting strangers and talking for hours (if I am in that mood, as what I do or am capable of doing depends highly on what state I'm in) and she hates this "you are not the world authority" So I have to fight this constantly. I've tried different tactics but it's almost as if she is not happy unless she is griping about something. It's better at times but you get the picture.
I wonder if I were financially independent and mentally and physically healthy, would I stick around? But I feel this great sense of owing her something. She is who I credit with saving my life as I was on the brink of checking out. She did a lot for me. A Godsend I refer to her as. We are seeking therapy with someone we used before that helped but when I really think about it, because you owe someone is no reason to stay in a relationship is it?
i do love her, no question but is it enough to overcome the negativity that pours out of her? When I am not bed-ridden depressed I am a very upbeat person who like listening to music, going out, meeting neighbors, goofing around and laughing at myself. This is not her at all. A he tries to act way to serious about life and is embarrassed by having to meet new people or talk to strangers.
These differences are becoming more and more clear but she helped me so much in the past. She still does to a degree but not like it used to be.
Now to be honest I must say that my actions take their toll on her. I like to go out often so sometime I do so without her. I'm very faithful be she is very jealous. I like meeting people, this annoys her. I can be very different from one day to the next which has to be hard on someone.
Thearapy is all I can think of right now but if anyone has something to offer please jump in!!!!