Filed for divorce--where I am now

I asked for a divorce last November. Husband moved out at the beginning of March. It has been about a month on my own (with 4 kids) and I wanted to let you all know what is different for me. I don't know if this will help anyone, but for me, I was always afraid of the unknown that would come from divorce. Here are things I noticed:  

1) I have more money at the end of the month...more than I expected. Finances were our #1 issue. Now that we don't share an account, I actually have money in the bank at the end of the month. I'm actually surprised by how much is still there!

2) The house is easy to keep up. The kids are NOT as messy as I thought.  House was always a constant mess and the kids got a lot of the blame. Guess what? It's not so bad.  Maintaining a relatively tidy house is pretty easy. 

3) More time. With more control over living situation comes more time (even being a single mother).

4) Home repairs are  not that hard. In our marriage, husband was responsible for home repairs. They would get put off and put off.  I do them now (still learning). Most are pretty simple ten-minute projects especially if you know where all the tools and parts are. Now if something major happens, I may be in a world of hurt so I will have to let  you know what comes.

5) I can't protect the kids. Like many of you, I hid the effects of ADHD from the kids. Now without me whitewashing situations, they are seeing their father as irresponsible and foolish with money. It is hurtful to them and this is probably the most painful aspect of it all for me.

6) Even though I feel like I have more time overall, juggling the kids' schedules is difficult and after school pick ups is hard since I work. Husband didn't work and used to do a lot of transportation. The kids have had to pick up a lot of slack in that area.

7) It is hard to put kids through divorce--no matter what the reason. There are a lot of tears. I don't know how long it will take for the kids to find their new normal. 

 

I hope your husband will step up and do the right things....

I wish you all well!...Many of us have so many boundaries set up ( separate finances, etc, etc...) there isn't a lot of sharing anyway. One thing that can cause a major problem quick is a broken or blown out water line...So if you haven't already, get you a cut off tool (hardware store, cheap and a common item) for your water meter and practice cutting it off...Your children are old enough to learn it also...

Blessings