We finally had the results meeting with the (real this time, leader of local CHADD) ADHD expert. She told my wife that she meets the criteria for ADHD and would benefit from ADHD treatments.
Afterward, my wife complained that I had been much harsher in rating her than she had. The psychologist pointed out that my scores were much higher than how she rated herself. My wife said that I had rated everything as "severe", when most of the ratings were actually "moderate" or "moderate to severe." Even by her own ratings, however, my wife met the ADHD criteria. It helped that her adopted brother had rated her symptoms just a little bit below what I had rated them. The psychologist said this was probably because he does not live with her and see her on a regular basis.
Complicating the path forward is that our daughter is once again in a psych hospital. Her symptoms have gotten worse since her first hospitalization in July. She has progressed to episodes where she runs out barefoot at night in the rain, walks through the woods. walks on and lays down on railroad tracks, and slides down a very tall and steep embankment. She also recently told a friend on the phone that she sometimes thinks of cutting her breasts off. She not says she hears voices, she thinks that hearing voices is a good thing. She has recently added two new voices. She now says that the voices can take over all or part of her body. Some of the psych hospitals have labeled this a "behavioral" and refused to admit her. Yet we can't keep her safe and dread what may happen at any moment. When we took her home from one ER when she could not be admitted, she bolted from our car. There was a large police and fire department search involving floodlights and a dog.