Financial Irresponsibility

After a mutual agreement in May 2022 that my husband would no longer take household funds to support his business, he told me yesterday that he needs another $10,000 due to unforeseen circumstances. I said "no" and chaos ensued. I asked why he thought it was appropriate to take household funds despite our previous agreement -- he insists that since it is unforeseen circumstances that he should not have to beg for money that is "his" and that I should see his point and agree.

I am at a breaking point. I am 2 years away from retirement and am afraid this will continue until there is nothing left. I am very frugal and budget conscious. Husband was to have made a business budget and reviewed it with me by July 31, but once again has not even made any mention of it.

He has agreed to see a counselor again before opting for divorce. When I asked if he was looking for counselor with experience with ADD, he insisted that doctor who had previously diagnosed him was a quack, but he did come up with a list to review and even called someone and left message for an appointment. At that time, he took medication for a time, did not appear to help, so was discontinued; he now insists he never took medication.

I have removed him from our joint savings after I transferred funds for his business; I feel as if I have just given in to his bullying. While he is the most generous person I know, his business clients come first and I feel as if I am left to keep the household going while his business is in the red more often due to his consistent overspending.

Where do I go from here?  Do not want to divorce after 40 years, but feel he has no interest in being accountable for his actions.  By end of year, he will come into a large estate from death of both of his parents, and I am afraid that rather than a secure financial future that it will be frittered away by his lack of planning. 

How do I deal with problems when his response is "I do not recall saying or agreeing to that" or his convoluted justification for anything that he feels is necessary?