Good morning all,
I am new to this site. I would like a bit of advice.
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we live together. He is a contractor and has not been working outside of a few odd jobs here and there. He has contributed very little to nothing to the household bills. I pay the mortgage, food, utilities and even pay for vacations etc. I even had to buy his brother's birthday present yesterday.
He doesn't seem to be motivated to really find work and says he feels bad about not being able to contribute. I beginning to feel as though he feels it's easier for me to support him. He is remodeling the house we live in but it's taking quite a long time. I work 40-50 hours a week and I do the majority of the cooking and house cleaning.
Resentment is becoming a real issue. I received a large bonus from work which has allowed me to pay for the remodel project for the most part. However, covering his bills, the mortgage and utilities has financially devastated me. He says that the remodel project (I have been working on the remodel with him on the weekends) is keeping him from working on other jobs. I understand that for the most part, but I leave for work and he stays in bed until 8:00 or 9:00 and then does a few things on the house. I suggested that he get jobs outside of the remodel and we can work on the house in our off time. He agreed, however on the "off" time, he is too tired to do anything and says he needs a break from work. Geez. The remodel is not just benefiting me, it's also benefiting him. We have discussed getting married and I would add his name to my house. I am now rethinking that.
He gets mad when I bring it up. I don't think I present it well. He just tells me he doesn't want to hear it and that he is trying and to shut the "f" up.
What should I do? Should I stop this relationship or hang in?