Wow, I did not this type of forum existed. I'm glad I found it. I was reading melissa's book and wow...
I'm non adhd wife with small children. My husband is on meds but not working really well. He knows he has problems and upsetting me and our kids but unwilling/unable to do more about it. He just wants me to just deal with his misery. I don't think he knows what kind of impact adhd/add is on our kids. We have been married for almost 20 years. I am on my wits end. I don't know how long I can/want to take. I want to save this marriage for our kids, but I'm stressed out and frustrated.. not to mention resentment and angry on both side.
As I read through this forum, I'm glad that I'm not the only one. The way you guys describe your lives, it is just like mine!!! I thought I was the crazy, mean depressed ugly person. I did not know what was the matter with me. It was not me, it was his adhd. For so long, he made me feel like I was the meanist and unforgiving, unreasonable person he ever met. He brings out the worst in me. How hard I try to help him, he was more upset and mean and distant with me and our kids.
I also noticed "swing back and forth" emotion stuff. I was/am so confused my it all. Not to mention my kids just confused and hard time following my husband. They don't listen well to him, because they don't know if he is serious or joking or just ignore???
He wants me to understant and validate his situation, and I do and I told him that. But what about mine? He told me he knows but he can't /unable to do to anything or just no response. I feel like he just want me to "take it or leave it" "it is what it is".
It is so hard to do everything around the house including raising our kids and hold almost full time job. He does not do hardly anything around the house just his hobby of cleaning guns, working on his amos, texing, twittering, on comupter, fun with his friends including his "just" girlfriends (which I'm very suspicious since he does not share with me and hiding his phone at all time). His phone is more close to him than me. He is with his phone when he sleeps. Don't let anyone touch it or see it up close. I saw him checking his phone while he is peeing.
Is it bad of me to wonder what if i'm with someone normal? Are my kids bettter off?