Forgetfulness and Anger: Need Advice

For those with an ADHD spouse, I really need some advice. My husband has severe ADHD and, as a result, is very forgetful. I can never rely on him to remember anything (found out that the hard way: late bills, forgetting to renew his driver's license this year, etc.). I realize that this is just something I need to help him with, and I usually just do everything for him or give him consistent reminders for the things I can't do. However, when I remind him to do things, he gets angry and accuses me of nagging him when in reality I am just trying to ensure that it gets done. Today, I tried doing something for him that he has put off for nearly a year now even with many reminders, and he got angry at me, telling me that "he would do it later." How do you all handle forgetfulness? Is there a system that works for you all (ex. writing it down, reminders, etc.)?


Also, is anger/outbursts an ADHD symptom or something else entirely? Regarding his forgetfulness and any other situation that upsets him, my husband has these outbursts where he will yell, slam doors, etc. This can be a real issue considering we live in an apartment with neighbors above and beside us, so everyone is able to hear whenever we have a disagreement.


My husband does not take medication for his ADHD after trying many, many brands and experiencing bad side effects with each (depression, loss of appetite, exhaustion, etc.). He also has refused to seek any sort of counseling, so I am searching for solutions, as our marriage has been suffering lately.