Today I hit a low point. The last ten days, it has become clear that
1) Whenever a decision needs to be made for the home or family, I need to make that decision without involving my ADD husband. This is because he now gets so aggravated by being asked what he prefers. And
2) He cannot make agreements in advance, since he is always unsure of what he can manage. But surprising him is not advisable either. For instance I had to move something heavy for the children and he was so upset about my sudden request for adult lifting help it ruined our entire weekend. I now realize in that situation I will need to call a friend instead. Also
3) He claims he gifts me when he manages to complete a household task. As if our life were my responsibility. As if I were a housewife, maybe, when instead I'm the primary breadwinner. As if we had not mutually agreed on what tasks we've taken on these last 20 years. Until now, that is.
The degree of his worsening ADD symptoms despite treatment baffle me. But they also make me furious today. I refuse to bear sole responsibility for everything, including providing an ADD-friendly life for him, while he cannot even voice what he needs. He has no ideas, no plans, no suggestions.
This life stinks. I want another one.