"The Games ADD People Play"

These are from the book "Healing ADD" by Daniel Amen.  (Thank you to whoever on this forum recommended his books.  They contains lots of insightful information.)

Here's what he has to say about these "games":  "Many people with ADD unconsciously, based on brain-driven (not will-driven) mechanisms, play ADD games as a way to boost adrenaline and stimulate their frontal lobes.  These games just seem to happen.  No one plans for them to happen.  Most ADD people deny that they engage in these behaviors."

1) Let's have a problem.

2) I bet I can get you to yell to me or hit me.

3) My thoughts are more terrible than your thoughts.

4) It's your fault.

5) No, no way, never, you can't make me do it.

6) I say the opposite of what you say.

7) I say the first thing that comes to mind.

8) Let's call it even.

9) Fighting as foreplay.

Games 3) and 4) are the ones my husband plays the most.  4) is, in fact, the biggest problem in our relationship and the one I can't get past.  

Generally, I think it's fascinating that people with ADHD seem to use conflict as a stimulant, particularly conflict that they quietly instigate and appear to not be actively participating in.  It seems that what some experts see as withdrawal on the part of the person with ADHD might actually be an attempt to draw the other person further into conflict.