Gay relationship

Hi, I have been having a gay relationship with a younger guy (he is 22) with ADHD for the last 2 years, we started off as the best of friends a year before any relationship developed, he knew I was gay but I thought he was straight. Anyway without going into too much detail here we became more than friends and it was the best relationship I have ever had! I was very careful as not to declare my love to him as thought it may scare him off, a few months back he seemed to back off and when I asked him what was wrong, he said he was in love with me, and had never felt like that for anybody before and found it difficult to deal with, I told him not to worry as I felt the same. Since that declaration, the relationship went gradually downhill and now I have very little contact from him (we live 200 miles apart, although I am a regular visitor to his town) as he is obviously avoiding me for reasons unknown. We have many mutual friends and when they see him he appears in the best of spirits. I am almost certain he is not seeing anyone else, so rather confused as what has gone wrong as never known anybody with ADHD before. He doesn't take his medication anymore as feels he doesn't need it and holds down a responsible job. I would like to know if this is a common symptom in relationships when the sufferer becomes too close to someone?


This may be due to your ADHD

This may be due to your ADHD man's tendency to hyper focus on a relationship when it's fresh, new and exciting. It also may be that he has had a change of heart. Or could it be that this is the first time he's considered being in a committed gay relationship? Only asking because you thought he was straight at one point. Is he out to everyone? Is he ready to walk into parties with your hand in his?  If it's the ADHD, I'd have to assume he is over the hyper focus phase and has moved onto other things (though not necessarily other men!) that hold his attention. He may still love you very much, but I hate to say it, if he won't take his medication or deal with his ADHD in some manner, you should be prepared to be utterly ignored. You may have a very hard time dealing with not being the center of his universe any more. People with ADHD can be incredibly inattentive and aloof. Trust me, you may feel very alone. Sounds like you two need to talk!