I am a 46-year-old ADD working wife and mother of 3. My husband of 18 years does not have ADD. I am new to this website and I'm very optimistic that it is going to be such a helpful resource for myself as well as for my marriage. I have read several posts in a variety of categories and I have also listened to the audio version of the first 2 chapters of Melissa's wonderful book, which was SO insightful!!!
This is my first post and I am posting to make one very specific point that I think is critical: I truly feel that while there are many characteristics of ADD that apply to both men and women (poor time management, forgetfulness, etc.), the impact of ADD in a marriage is significantly different depending on whether it is the wife or the husband who has the ADD. I think it would be a HUGE improvement to this site to have separate forums according to that distinction. Does anyone agree? The dynamics in a marriage are not unisex. Gender is a HUGE factor which is getting "muddled" in this site, in my opinion. While it may be helpful for all 4 "types" to read posts from one another to gain a different perspective, I think it would be very helpful to organize the posts in categories such as: ADD wife/non-ADD husband; ADD-husband/non-ADD wife, both spouses with ADD; and perhaps similar categories for same-sex couples as well. Does anyone agree? Melissa, would that be possible?
As I've been educating myself about my fairly new diagnosis, I am certainly identifying with the research of Sari Solden and Patrica Quinn, et al, with regard to Women with ADD in particular. As such, I'm choosing to read Sari's book first ("Women with ADD") and plan on having my husband read that as well before we read Melissa's books. I suspect that when I finish reading Melissa's book, I will be hoping that she will write two, or perhaps 3 new books: "The ADD Effect on Marriage when a Wife has ADD," "The ADD Effect on Marriage when a Husband has ADD," and "The ADD Effect on Marriage when both Spouses have ADD." So that it can be really targeted.
Thank you, Melissa, for your work and this website which is a Godsend!