Easter Sunday we will have 20 people here. We have a big house. H's "areas" that I try to let him have to his content are "hoarding rooms" and are dirty including his office, his bathroom and his rec room. (He also has the garage and sheds and rented storage buildings where he pays for his rusty dirty "valuables" to be stored until he can "sell" it all at a profit. When our extended family comes to visit I used to clean the entire house including organizing in piles and washing all his areas. I was ashamed of his dirty, getting smelly mess, believing it a reflection of me as the housekeeper.
I am not going to this year. I asked him if he was planning to do any clean-up of his areas before Sunday, and he loudly scolded me that he had been ..."cleaning up ALL DAY!!!! CAN"T YOU SEE THAT?" It was 10am and he was looking at a paper on his desk. (To sort means to read each paper from 5 years ago and then stare at it and think about it for a minute, then put it into a paper bag with a few other years old useless papers.) He believes in experiencing and enjoying each moment as it happens and is oblivious to things outside of what he is focusing on at the moment. It has been 30 minutes since and he has already started some other activity outside. Yes, just to sort out carefully the top of his desk would take a person an entire day. But there you have it. There are three large rooms in our house that are a dirty mess. I work full time. He works 3 days a week. And I am going to let it be. There you have it.
I know that by ignoring it, it will grow. Not sure if I can live with that. But right before we have a house-full of people is not the time to find a solution to a much bigger problem. I had to vent this out of me before the weekend begins. Thanks for listening.