I was diagnosed with ADHD in October last year after I was in the hospital for a suicidal event. I had a major breakdown when my wife walked out on me, totally destroyed by how I treated her. I had no clue what was going on, of course, and this site has really helped me understand why our marriage fell apart.
A lot has changed since then. I actually got a much better paying job, and I am doing so well there thanks to Focalin. My wife told me that I was always tearing her down and that she isn't going to walk in my shadow anymore. She says that I always expect perfection out of her. She also feels like she lost everything about herself because of her marriage to me.
It makes me feel so sad. I am crushed and destroyed over all this. She told me once that looking back she can see that I never loved her, even from the very beginning. When she said that, the only thing I could think of was the hyper-focus of the courtship wearing off, and I had no idea. It makes so much sense, but she won't connect the dots, she says she is done.
We have a divorce pending, and I just really feel like if she would take the time to see how ADHD affected our marriage and that it can be fixed, then we could have a major breakthrough. The problem is that she was out of the house, binge drinking, and already decided to file for divorce by the time I was diagnosed.
I don't know what to do, and every time I reach out to her it makes matters worse. Even though meds help me focus, I still struggle with my sarcastic tongue. We have been married for almost 10 years with 3 kids. I have finally arrived with a great salary in my career, and I think we could have everything we always wanted because I am determined to do everything I can to not let my behavior destroy anymore.
What should I do? I am so lost, so ashamed, so desperate.