GF broke up with me on Thanksgiving

Hey my fellow ADHD'ers,

My very supportive girlfriend of three to four years dating broke up with me on the day before Thanksgiving. To be honest, I really really let her down and I am so down on myself. She was always there to nudge me in the right direction so I could continue my education and find something I was passionate about. We moved in together two years ago because she needed a roommate during her marriage and family college courses. Being the caring and supportive person that I am, I jumped at the opportunity to finally take our relationship to the next level. My overly optimistic approach to life and constant internal self-reflection that lead to no follow through were few of the many weaknesses that slowly made me lose myself in the process. I started to stop going to my community college courses, jumped from one job to another job to another job, and lacked the self-confidence to even do anything from all of her friend's and family constantly asking what I was doing with my life. She gave me so many opportunities for us to work it out, but I did not have the time-sensitive urgency and follow through to make it happen. My (ex) girlfriend broke up with me for this following reasons:

  • I was not financially stable and jumped from job to job to another job while we lived together.
  • The relationship dynamic somehow shifted from partners to a mother/son duo
  • Being hyperfocused on the "we", I lost who I was in the process. She something along the lines of "Kevin, I know who I am without you, but who are you without me?" when we broke up. 
  • Shifting interests and constantly overpromising and underdelivering
  • This was the last straw for her the weekend before Thanksgiving, she didn't talk about me passionately or proudly about me when people ask who I am or what I do. She would just give a generic response like "Oh Kevin is a barista now at Starbucks and he's gonna be an Organizational Leadership major at Arizona State University through the Starbucks College Achievement Program
  • I am back to square one and writing this from my bedroom at my parent's house. I have asked a few mutual friends how she is doing and I know that she's both mad and sad at me. I did not want to see that this relationship was falling apart and pushed it back to my mind. To be honest, I am both heartbroken and hurt but I am more upset at myself for letting this happen. I always said to her that I did not want a breakup to help motivate me to become a better version of myself.  I am so confused and lost right now. I loved her and our dog that we adopted together so much but I cannot even make a damn thought into an action. I don't know if I am even ready for another relationship and I will be honest that I am not sure we will ever get back together. I can only control myself going forward from now on and building myself into a better financial and passionate individual. Whatever happens, will happen.