My Ex partner has ADHD & RSD. We dated for over a year and a half and faced many of the challenges that ADHD can present in a relationship. I at first would be frustrated but over time and throughout our challenges would try and learn as much as I could. I've read a few books, joined a couple of forums, and really just tried to educate myself. I am someone who commits wholeheartedly and has learned how to be extremely patient and supportive. Recently my ex-partner attended an event that I had and it was an opportunity for her to meet a few of my friends and family. She had a stressful day but made it to my event and ended up leaving after 30 minutes. She didn't say anything to me - just literally disappeared. She was talking with someone and got emotional regarding her situation and shed a couple of tears. It wasn't anything that was noticed or anything to be ashamed of because everyone there emotionally is a compassionate good-hearted person. Once I noticed that she had left I called and text and her response was rather alarming. It was as if she felt like she was the victim of something. I later came to realize that it may have been her RSD. I've texted her supportive things multiple times, sent flowers, and have never heard anything from her. It's been three weeks! I recently ran into one of her friends and she said - I think she is done at your event she felt attacked and felt that I didn't defend her or apologize to her.
I wasn't aware of any feeling she may have had. I can only gather that her RSD may have kicked in but don't understand anything. I'm not upset that she left, I just wish we had a plan for the evening and talked about any social anxiety. The only thing that's hard for me to grasp is that I've consistently shown up in her life as someone who loves her and supports her. There are various items, pictures, gifts, little things in her place that are representative of the love I've given her. Does that not trigger a reminder that this person has my back. I'm also alarmed because she could very well tell her friends how she feels or perceive things and they are advising her on something that's not actually the truth.
We have been making so much progress but this has me at a complete loss. She isn't currently seeing a therapist but I know she planned to soon.