Gifted spouse and ADHD spouse

Hello, My marriage is in trouble with my spouse who has ADHD (who refused taking medication just because his lower muscle tightened up in which he does not like the feeling of it same time being paranoid about his heart issue). I wonder if me being gifted and his being ADHD are additional problem issue? We have a lot of communication problem even though we could talk as long as it is basic neutral subjects such as food shopping needs and activities with our children. We have one child who has been diagnosed having ADHD and is very bright while another child is diagnosed being "Gifted". I noticed that gifted child has a strained relationship with her father because of his reactions and rumination with senseless lectures that appeared brought up due to his ADHD. That is what it seems to me that Gifted and ADHD do not mix well?