That's what my relationship with my husband feels like. We have been bickering about a few significant topics for more than three years now, since he was fired from his last full-time job. One topic, about which I've pretty much given up hope: looking for another full-time job. The other topic: my desire to have my husband help more around the house, given that I'm working more than he is and also doing more of the housework. In the more than three years since the firing, my husband's only regular contribution to helping out around the house has been to vacuum ... sometimes. He has progressed from sometimes vacuuming one room once a week to usually vacuuming one room once a week and vacuuming the entire house every two months or so. As I said, this is his only regular contribution to housework, during a time when I've significantly increased my paid work hours and also have been doing more housework because our daughters are no longer at home.
Being in "Groundhog Day" (having the same things happen every day despite the passage of time) is very frustrating to me. My husband seems to not get what is bothering me. I wondered why he wasn't bothered by the bickering, too. Then, I realized that he probably is bothered by it, but he prefers bickering over a little bit of work to actually doing more work. Does my interpretation make any sense?
I would ask for suggestions to get out of this maze, but I've given up on the housework issue and, pretty much, on the marriage issue. I'm just staying in because we can't afford financially to live apart.