Group sessions

Anyone here participated in group sessions with other ADHD couples? Our counselor is really interested in starting a group for a few couples she has all dealing with ADHD issues, including us of course, and I am wondering if anyone can weigh in on the pros and cons. I was discussing with her some defensivness issues that are coming to the surface for my husband...as if he wants to embrace the ADHD diagnosis only when it explains why he has felt different all of his life, but is not so openly accepting of the communication difficulties it causes us (it is all my fault when a conversation goes south..when he TRULY mis-interprets something I say..and I am left holding the bag unfairly, I feel) She said that the group will help reduce the defensiveness and help take the heat off of each individual and let us all see the issues in each other..even the non-ADHDers. Anyone?

Group Sessions

I have not participated in group sessions related to ADHD.  However, it  sounds like something that could definitely benefit as it would take the focus off of just the two of you.  It would also give some weight to the importance of managing ADHD symptoms without it being directed at just on your husband.  Issues of other couples will arise that are similar to yours, and both of you can discuss it without it being ABOUT you.  And just like being on this site, sometimes it just feels good to know that you're not crazy, and you're not the only ones trying to cope with these problems.

 

Anxiety anxiety anxiety

Feeling tons of it as am about to embark on couple counseling. Whats the best way to approach this without setting off the defensiveness that is hallmark for the adder who hears criticism - and blames their spouse for it afterwards? Want this to work - can i say about how the anger and rage has hurt our family and me? Or how invisible and insecure I feel after years of being ignored? Or how about the resentment I used to feel and am wary of recurring cause i still have to do pretty much everything? I love dh, he is makng huge strides but still considers me the main source of our problems. His meds are at so so level, and he sees how his focus and low tolerance affects his work but not our marriage! I am so hopeful (but dont want to be only to be smashed again)...and i dont want to overwhelm dh but i am anxious for at least some validation and help in turning around what has been hell to deal with. I feel so insecure right now and i know that that in itself can be counterproductive. Any thoughts?! Help!!

Is it possible for you to

Is it possible for you to have a one on one with the counselor? I did that and was able to get out all of those same feelings that you are expressing before our couples session. I helped the counselor to hear where I was at, what I had experienced as a result of the ADD and I needed to express those emotions before I could even think about getting to work on things.  Hope your sessions give you some sense of validation, hope and closure on what (im sure) has been a hurtful past and lead to a road of healing for all of you.

Thank you. You are right

Thank you. You are right 100%. I was having a real moment with a capitol A (for anxiety). Sometimes you know what you know, but its not enough... You know?