I am not shock!! last night when DH came home form work he was totally stressed out.He said work was stressing him out and he needed to get out and stress (down),he was pilled out with some un prescribed stress medication from the pharmacy..He wanted to go to the casino,well,before doing so I was at his apartment and for the entire time before leaving home he was totally ignoring me, and I was sooo uncomfortable.Nothing out of the unusual there! I am use to that ignoring by now.When we got there, he was on many many different slot machines, and I was the only one on (one) machine the entire time.He was losing for the entire night which only made his stress level worse.I was winning and that was kind of bothering him, and he was trying and trying,then suddenly out of no where"this" 20 something year old girl was our waitress for the night,(very pretty,about 100 lbs or so,) and DH was staring staring staring her down,that had me really jealous and mad all at once,I had this instant rush of low self esteem,but,I am better now after pulling myself together,very very quickly.I am always coming across some woman that he cannot stop staring down ever so often,but this one was way too much,the girl is sooo young,and that had me feeling really down last night,it caused me to have "mood swings"and anger like crazy also resentment for him,he saw I was mad last night but I blamed it on poor service,but, he knew I was on to him,and he,of course, was trying to defend himself,but he was guilty and he knew it.,it had me feeling like I am too old now all of a sudden, and I am young,younger than him,he is 47, and I am 32,and still he is ogling across these kid girls.Imagine,his mother gave me a beautiful pair of earrings for Mother's day, and he never even noticed that I had them on last night,when I asked him today,he said:"I don't know you had them on,you never told me" told you!!!???? I had them on,then how it is you never noticed them on,well I know it's b/c he was busy watching other women that he never even noticed me.
I don't feel like having sex with him again! I am losing my desire to have intimacy with him,he does not know it yet,but he would soon.
Oh!! and last week at the grocery, he was staring down this pretty little girl,I swear she was only 15 or 16,she was with her mother.
When I confronted him about the (few)things that he was/is doing wrong,he got soo mad tonight and was shouting loud loud and acting all crazy,saying that I am not grateful for the "good"things that he has done so far,and that I should find a next man to gave me the things I want in life.Maybe I will,maybe I should.He has really done nothing more than cause me pain,and I am suffering!! suffering for all the good things that a husband should do for a great wife! I am a great wife! and I have been abused enough by all his actions,when is this ever going to end? with no effort on his side,only on my side.It's like this,he wants me to be forever grateful for the "good"things he has done,and,the bad,well, he wants me to forget them.Hell no!! it don't work soo.When the bad out weighs the good then something is clearly wrong here.
Taking into consideration, I have a 9 year old daughter,that 9 year old will be 18 in 9 years,what if he starts looking at her now,then I think I have a lot of thinking to do now,I better start.