Happiness

Are people with ADHD/ADD happier than nons?  I was just watching a TED speech which claims that happiness is living in the moment, putting a positive (real or unreal) "spin" on ALL that happens in your life, leaving things "open ended" rather than tightly decided.  And we know that having "less expectations" is a better path to happiness.  It might also be that the more responsibility you pile on yourself, the less happy you are.  Acceptance with WHAT IS would seem to make a person happier rather than having desires that will never be met. If ADDers live in the reality of "now and not now"/ forgive and forget/enjoy the moment, do ADDers see themselves as happier than nons who are regretting/scheduling/planning/predicting/judging?  Do non-ADDers see themselves as less happy than their ADD spouses?  It seems that DH is happier than I am.  Anyone have thoughts?  Is there a correlation?    OR are all of us who are on this site searching for a better way, for understanding, for truth, for help and we (all on this site) are just the type of people who are unable to content ourselves with what is and are we making ourselves nuts with our searching?  I am guessing that we are going through a period in our lives that is pushing us toward a solution or at least an educated sense of completeness by pulling all the resources available to us to be able to be the best we can be whoever we are.  And that one day we each will be able to "put it away" and file under....did that....project accomplished.  We are compelled by our own desires to accomplish/excel/grow.  But where does happiness lie?  And which is most important to you?   Can I be happy without the search for truth?  Without the desires for integrity and pride?  No, I am wired/taught to be a person of integrity/spirit/honorable/responsible/growing.  And I must carry the burdens that brings with it.  Can I ever be happy then?  Or is happiness just for people who are not working toward something? And do I judge those people who are content with things just as they are without similar desires to make things better? Yes. I do judge.   Yuk, sometimes I hate this intellectual side of me. I would like to be care free and happy sometimes.  But I yam what I yam.  Still, I can find balance and give myself those opportunities to live in the present moment and savour the beauty/pride/humor/friendships/trust/faith that exists now and then.  I can permit myself to hang on a music chord in Canon in D and I can relish the tart tomatoey taste of a good Italian pizza.  And I am able to balance that with moments of  angst that the bills are not being paid (something I cannot tolerate and DH seems to have no problem with) and the uncertainty of the future. The trick for me is to step out of the angst enough times to hear the notes and taste the tastes.   Today....not someday after things are better.  Counting my blessings today.

+1

This is the mindfulness idea of focusing on the moment...in my experience this has no relationship to ADHD, distraction is the complete opposite of mindfulness.  Some studies a have put the risk of depression and suicide at 4-6 times that for NoN's and  I don’t know of many ADHD folk who would describe themselves as “happy”   Every day hovers somewhere between struggle and farce, that’s the reality of it, at least for me. 

I think what this lecture is getting at is the old Buddhist idea that the origin of suffering is attachment i.e.

"Grasping at things can only yield one of two results:
Either the thing you are grasping at disappears, or you yourself disappear.
It is only a matter of which occurs first."

barneyarff's picture

Jon,  I was touched by what

Jon,  I was touched by what you wrote.

May I have some clarification on one point?  Is it the "non's" or the ADDers that are such high risk of depression and suicide?  Can you cite your statistics?

thanks

Agree with Ellamenno

Happy in the moment, until the next slap in the face of what I missed, mis-heard / interpreted. So when I'm in the "optimistic / things are not that bad mode" I do feel pretty good, but the next screw-up is always lurking.