Has my ADHD Boyfriend left me for good?


I've been dating this guy on and off now for 2 ½ years.  He is 26 and I am 31.  He is a great guy and comes from a good family.  We have a lot of fun together and I love him very much.  The negative part is that within these past 2 years and a half he has broken up with me five different times.  We were dating for one month and he ended things.  He said he did not see a future for us and that he was a flight risk.  Meaning his job can send him to work in another state.  We stayed friends and then he started asking me to hang out again two months later.  He said he missed me and loved me and wanted me to be his girlfriend.  So for the second time around that we were dating it lasted for five months.  Everything was great until one of my friends told me that my boyfriend gave his number out to one of the servers at a pool hall.  My friend knew the girl and he had said the girl said that my boyfriend was hitting on her.  I was devastated when I heard this.  I was so happy with him and now I had to confront him about this nonsense.  When I did confront him, my boyfriend told me that he was just being friendly.  He also said he doesn't have a lot of friends around where we live since he is not from here and that it didn't mean anything.  For the next three weeks, I couldn't help but think about how he gave his number to another girl and maybe what else does he do behind my back.  So we got into a few arguments and he winded up ending things.  He blamed everything on me and said he just wants to be alone.  I tried to make him see that he was making a mistake and he shut me out by ignoring my calls and text messages.  A month later he comes around for a third time and I just give in to him because I love him.  He told me we can't argue like we did but he wants to be with me and see if we can work things out.  Two months later he left for Florida to work there for four months.  We did the long distance relationship pretty well for three of the months but the fourth month is when he started not calling as much.  I sensed it right away and I brought it up to him.  He started arguments with me and he winded up ending things over the phone as he was in Florida and I'm sitting here almost 1,000 miles away waiting for him to come home.  He told me we can talk in person when he gets home in a few days but right now he is not talking.  This time he totally shut me out.  Did not answer the phone for a week straight or any of my text messages.  He finally gets home, mind you he lives right across the street from me.  All of a sudden I see his bright blue mustang outside his house and I was so excited because I thought maybe he was going to come walk across the street to see me.  But no he did not.  We play on three pool teams together so I eventually started to run into him again.  I gave him the cold shoulder at times and other times I was just civil with him.  A month later just when I started to feel better about moving on with my life he asks me to talk to him in person.  So we wind up talking and hanging out and he told me he loves me and wants me to give him a chance.  He said I am everything that he wants in a woman and that he messed up.  So for the fourth time I gave him a chance.  I really thought maybe this time he did realize and he is not going to be that stupid again to just walk away.  But of course I was wrong.  Five weeks later, me and my boyfriend got into a stupid argument.  In the argument I told him to consider himself single.  I didn't mean it.  I was just upset with him because he was at a strip club and my guard was still up because of the recent break up we had.  The very next day I apologized up and down.  He did not want to hear it.  He told me he can't do this anymore and that he thought things would have been different this time around but they aren't.  He said we are not good together and that he's just done.  He even quit our Wednesday pool team.  For two months and it was the summer I was crying because I was so hurt.  I even had a dream that I tried to kill him in my sleep.  I looked into what that actually means to kill someone in your dream and it said that the person is trying to put an end to someone or something.  In other words I was trying to let go of him.  The third month which was now August, I met someone else (DJ) and I started to feel alive again.  We had a lot of fun playing pool, hanging out with friends, watching movies, etc.. but I still wondered what Mike was doing and if he would ever want me back again.  The fourth month I moved into my new apartment with a roommate and DJ would come over to hang out.  My roommate (Leo) and him got along pretty well.  So now at this point in my life, four months after the terrible break up, I finally learned how to accept that Mike is not coming back.  I was able to sleep good at night and wake up being happy.  At the end of this fourth month, Mike saw me at our Monday night pool match and right after I left he texted me asking what the hell I was doing because he heard I was with DJ.  He bad mouthed DJ and called me stupid and basically compared his new girl to DJ.  Two weeks later I started receiving more text messages from Mike.  He said he just wants to hang out as friends since he is leaving for Florida.  I said fine because I knew he was leaving and it would probably be the last time we would ever hang out.  So I let him come over to see the apartment and I felt terrible because I lied to DJ.  I told him that I didn’t feel good and was going to sleep and I had Mike come over.  Nothing happened between Me and Mike.  He came over, we watched Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy and ordered Pizza Masters.  Mike winded up leaving for Florida for work later that week.  Once he got to Florida, he would call me nonstop and text me nonstop.  This went on for two months and then he came home in December for a few days.  I was still seeing DJ and I ended things with him before Mike came home in December because I am not a cheater and I knew something was going to happen between me and Mike.  Me and Mike hung out the week he was home in December and after we hooked up I just felt terrible.  I loved him but I had hurt DJ who was there for me and helped me move to my apartment and basically make me feel happy when I was so hurt.  I just felt what I was doing wasn’t right because Mike is just going to hurt me again anyway.  When Mike went back to Florida, I tried to make things right with DJ and he did not want to hear it.  At this point I didn’t know what to do.  I felt very confused.  Mike told me he loves me and this time is scary.  He is not losing me forever and he knows he messed up.  He also said, “I am the only woman for him.”  To make this long story short, Mike has tried from December of 2014 until May 2015 to make things work between us.  I was nice to Mike but at times I would tell him I can’t be with him or to just leave me alone because I felt so confused.  I knew I wanted to be with Mike and that I loved him but I felt no matter what that one day he will walk away from me again and to feel that terrible pain would be a nightmare all over again for me.  Throughout these months, I really acted out.  I told Mike I wanted to be with DJ when I really didn’t, I slapped Mike across the face in public because he hung out with DJ and caused trouble between me and him, I told him to leave me apartment a few times, I took my apartment keys from him twice.  In March, I started to invest my heart into things with Mike again but I still didn’t 100% trust that he won’t walk away.  As soon as he saw me being all about him and wanting him I felt him drifting away. Mike did a lot for me and helped me a lot.  I always thanked him and I always was appreciative.  We did have a lot of good nights and a lot of good times, however, once I was acting into him, he seemed to get confused.  He told me those words again, “I don’t know what to do.”  After hearing that again, I became distant for a week and just wanted to be left alone.  My grandmother is sick, work has been crazy, and I know he is not going to be here for me no matter what like he said he was going to be. He came to my apartment to talk to me when I was in the worse mood.  I told him to just go.  He said, “You’re being a bitch.”  So I told him to get out and leave my keys.  When he left I texted him saying that we are never on the same page and I cannot trust him.  The next day when I woke up I tried to contact him and he didn’t want to hear it.  He said he knows where we stand now and then he ignored me for three days.  He finally answered and said we are done.  I got him to talk to me in person last night (May 27, 2015) and he told me to my face once again that he is done with me that he is not in love with me.  He is no longer doing this back and forth thing.  I apologized up and down and told him I will never tell him to leave ever again and that I was acting this way because I still had my guard up.  I was just scared that he was going to walk away no matter what.  He said it’s too late, he is done.  He left my house and once again I’m left to hurt all over again.  My boyfriend well now ex-boyfriend does have ADHD.  He had it when he was younger in middle school and had to take medicine.  His father said his son didn't have to take the medicine anymore when he got into high school.  I heard this information two years ago and I did not think I should be concerned since my boyfriend wasn't on the medicine anymore.  I thought he was okay or maybe outgrew ADHD.  He is very impulsive.  He is always on the go.  He goes to work on his days off.  He can be so sweet and lovable and shows me he cares so much but then there are times where I felt like I didn't even exist to him.  Like his mind was elsewhere.  So my question is, Is ADHD affecting him and how he can have a relationship with me or am I the one who pushes him away?  I know he loves me.  I just don't understand how he can come back crying and asking me to give another chance promising he will never leave again but then does leave the moment there is confrontation?  I feel like I have been on an emotional roller coaster these past 2 ½ years.  Is he going to come back again? Or was the fifth time the last time?  I' ll never understand.