Hi everyone, first time posting here.
I'm a male adult that had ADHD as a kid, and was diagnosed (without testing, just through talking with a therapist) with adult ADHD earlier. I am married to a wonderful, thoughtful, and non-ADHD partner. As additional background, I also have anxiety and have been taking fluoxetine.
I have found that ADHD has affected my marriage in many ways, but primarily because I get easily distracted and consistently forget things that my partner enjoys or cares about. Sometimes it's forgetting to make tea after saying that I would make one for them, or promising to keep my partner informed and then getting lost in a meeting and forgetting to. Other times, it's larger things, like not setting up a new dog day care in time because I kept pushing it back (i.e. I said I would do it, got busy, and then didn't do it until the next day, on each step of the way).
I have started trying to read through a list of intentions to remind me to be better at listening, or being attentive, or speaking through my intentions (to avoid misunderstandings), it seems to be helping, but it also doesn't feel like it's enough. At this point, my partner feels like they just have to forgive and let it go all the time, whereas I can just keep making mistakes and hurting them. I don't want this to keep happening and want to get better. Does anyone here have any advice on coping strategies they've used to be more attentive / remember important things to their spouse?