I'm new here. Up late tonight very frustrated. Could really use some sympathy or insight as to how to cope...
Right now, I am dealing with a LOT of stress. It's so bad that I am witnessing physical effects happening as a result. DH is well aware of this. And I keep telling him about how overwhelmed I've been feeling, especially lately. And yet, he still insists on asking me to do all kinds of "simple" additional tasks throughout the day and then gets mad at me when I don't want to do them (or *gasp* I forget to do them). This REALLY infuriates me!
First - there are SO many times when I ask him to do something and he either takes forever to do it or doesn't do it AT ALL! So I am really peeved when he gets all riled up at me for not doing something, but when HE doesn't do something, I'm supposed to let it slide or just "understand." Of course I do try to understand his daily struggles, but I sure as heck would appreciate some dang reciprocity!
Second - he has NO idea how many "simple" requests he actually makes of me throughout the day. "Can you get my under clothes for the day?" "Can you go find my MetroCard?" "Can you call Verizon to check on service stuff?" "Can you go to the post office to maybe pick up my package for me?" "Can you go get me XYZ snack from the fridge?" "Can you go find my flashlight?" (those are just some requests from today, btw.) To him, these just seem like "easy" things that can be done in a matter of seconds or minutes. And yes, that's indeed true for most of them. And under normal circumstances, I might not have such an issue. But when I am stressed and/or overwhelmed, it just feels like one more darn thing I have to add to an already overflowing "to do" list. And if it's such a "simple" task, why the heck doesn't he just do it himself? Why not give me a break and not add to my list?
When I say no, and point out that I have too many things on my "to do" list, he has the nerve to say, "Oh, but that's not an extra thing. It's not an extra to do." OH REALLY!?!?! So having to sit for god knows how long on the phone with a customer service rep isn't an extra "to do"?
I've tried so many times to explain this to him. That it's not about the "task" itself, but about needing to not feel like I'm being "piled" on. He just does NOT get it! His usual response is, "Well FINE. I just won't ask you for ANYTHING!" Because, yeah...that will actually happen...*rolls eyes*
Does anyone else experience this? Any tips for how to cope? Any success in getting your DH to understand?