He has his own version of reality

My husband of nearly 7 years has a lot of bad habits but I don't know if they're ADHD ones. A few things I need some clarity on -- are these things ADHD things or something else?


- Having his own sense of reality -- he does not pay bills on time and does not agree with me as to what is important in life. This can mean paying bills on time, sending greeting cards, being polite, expectations of people, laws, morality etc.

- Argues over everything; has his own opinion and MUST enforce it on you no matter what.

- Can not be blamed for anything even if it's his actual fault.

- Will not take action to help his family i.e. I need him to show he cares by doing certain things, like paying bills on time, making phone calls, getting information. He won't do these things if he doesn't see the point in doing them -- no matter how I feel or how we can be hurt. It has to make sense for HIM and HIM ALONE for him to do the thing.

- Angry all the time. Lashes out, snaps at me but then while flailing his hands around and speaking excitedly insists that he's "not snapping" at me. (?????)

- Knows that he's made mistakes with long lasting repercussions but has no interest in facing any consequences for anything. Says, "I can't do anything about that." Like if a bill collector comes calling he will say, "I have no money to give them." and he will ignore them and that will be that. He will say, "I'll give them money when I have it." As if it is up to him.


He lives in his own world and is so incompetent in this one. He's not only incompetent but he's a stumbling block for me and others. His father is always paying his bills for him when he lets them go (though I get blamed a lot along with him for his financial troubles -- I get to be attacked as a husbandwife entity instead of my own person with my own bank account TYVM.) He screwed up by not paying our home insurance and since his father owns half the house, now his dad's stuff went up and he has to use cashiers checks etc. Hubby does not seem to CARE that he does this to people.