He keeps saying it's my fault

That I'm not trying hard enough. 

Every day I try, and hope, and pray... and have for a very long time.  What is he doing?  Whatever he wants.  If he feels like cleaning up, he will.  If he doesn't, it's left for me.  If he wants to play video games he will.  If he wants to leave he will.  He sets up crazy expectations for me - tests that I can only fail, then he's disappointed when I fail.  E.g. wanting couple time at 11 PM when I have to get up for work the next day.  Wanting me to drive in terrible weather to come see him when he's away (Why should HE have to drive in the weather, he asked.)  It's so sad he can't see my responsibility, my bill paying, tackling the unpleasant things in the marriage (chores, food shopping, etc) as "trying."  No, trying is MAKING myself have an emotional connection that just isn't there. 

This is common, right? 

He isn't grasping that I'm at the end of my rope.  How much more bending can I do?  How do you all react when you're told it's YOUR fault?