I had posted previously on here with a different name and received a lot of positive feedback.
I finally ended my marriage. About three months ago after one of our explosive arguments I snapped. I had forgotten to pick up butter from the store and was very upset that I forgot. First mistake...do not let husband know that you are upset because he has two emotions. Bouncing of the walls and kicking down the walls. He freaked out and grabbed the kitchen cupboard door and tried to rip it off. I had enough. I shouldn't be exposed to the amount of negativity, frustration and anger from one man. He had torn me down emotionally over the past 9 years and the last year or so I have been emotionally detached from him. You know the drill, it's my fault and for me to assume that he wants to be accountable for anything going wrong...well, I must be out to lunch.
He has refused to attend counseling with me to work on anger issues. I even said that the anger was shared between us (turns out the majority is my defensiveness from being called a n*gger dumb ass c&nt), and he said that I was weak. He didn't need help and are issues were my problem. I finally realized that there were no winners here, our family life was suffering, the kids wanted us to split, etc. It takes two to commit. He didn't want to stop going out on Friday and staying out until 10 am after being on a coke/booze bender. He wanted me to be on the coke/booze bender with him!
I started feeling good almost the second after I had enough and told him I was done trying. He arranged to move out and has done so, all while complaining that I do not understand how much it costs to live? Did I mention that everything in the house (including the HOUSE) is in my name. I was financially independent before I met him. He was 33 and lived in his friend's basement. Didn't own a thing and never had to be responsible for anything.
Now it has been a few months and as it turns out, he has a new serious girlfriend. WTF? I have had to do serious healing and self preservation to gain my confidence back and he moved on? It makes me angry and sad at the same time. I don't want him back, I guess I just don't understand how he has no clue how damaged he made me?