He says it is me

Earlier this week hubby sent me an e-mail with a link to adhd, so I did some research and realised all my unhappiness for many years with him was down to this, I said nothing but ordered the book ADHD is it me and researched in the meantime.  Eureka he found out what was wrong with him.  At last me and the kids have a chance at happiness.  Well I gave him the book this morning and was astounded when he told me he had sent the link because I had adhd.  I am sitting here crying now I think I might really go mad I just don`t want to go on. 

Update, he has started to

Update, he has started to read the book and reading for him is not easy he is dyslexic and has trouble with books.  I have calmed down now.   He has backed down from saying it is me and is quite impressed that famous people have ADHD (rolls eyes).  Reading the book I have instinctively been doing some of the right things when he physically threatened me in the early part of our marriage I finally after 25 years said if he did it again this was after being shoved against the fridge and hurting my back in the fall I would call the police.   That did make him think. 

 

My eleven year old gets a lot of his ire he is always on his back about his homework which unfortunately is published on the schools website daily so when I collect my son Daddy is waiting to tell him to get stuck into it as soon as we walk through the door.  School broke up today for Easter and the school report recorded amazing marks for my little boy who is actually very clever.

 

My other two sons who are grown up both have good careers  one is an Architect with his own practice the other a scientist I don`t know whether to ask them to help me impress upon husband that we need help.  I have found the name of a very good therapist who specialises in ADHD in adults but my husband has refused to go.  Should I go alone to ask for help?

 

 

Yes

Yes you should go, he can perhaps give you a strategy to get your husband in there.  Change will not happen without him being on board though.  Also, since reading is hard, try renting the PBS specials from the library; ADD and Loving It, and ADD and Mastering it.  These would give an overview and are entertaining and held my DH's attention without being blaming or threatening.  Or encourage a book on tape.