He Tries so Hard

It is so hard to be upset and frustrated with my DH.  When I am home, on the weekends, he is more relaxed and focuses better.  I know he gets frustrated with me cause I am not sitting with him watching TV or cleaning house, but I need my down time also, and he has come to realize that also. He is also all over the TV stations and can't watch one certain show all the way through, which bugs me beyond belief.   If anyone has read my previous posts, during the week, I have a full time job and have so much that I need to do at home, and I am in so much pain, that when it comes to the weekends, I need my downtime to rest my body and get the computer work, bills, and other items that he doesn't deal with during the week.  Today, he did the laundry, and is working out in the garage, but comes in and gives me a hug every once in a while.  He is the sweetest man, and when he knows that he has upset me, he gets down on himself so bad, that it is really hard for me to explain what he needed to do, or to just tell him that I need him to do more.  He tries so hard to make me happy, that I really hurt when I need to talk with him about something.  I can't find a way to do it without upsetting him, but then he calms down and realizes what he needs to change.  It is just hard to have him face the issue.

Does anyone have a way that they discuss things with their ADD spouse that seems to be easier on them?  I would love to find a way to talk with him that wouldn't upset him so much.  It seems like if I preface my request with, "Don't take this personal, it is just a suggestion", it still upsets him. Can someone help me with this?