my partner and I have been together for 3 years, we have been through meth addiction (him) and come out the other side in the beginning, it was about 12 months ago I was still having issues with him saying things and not doing them and some were little and some were big, I was constantly feeling not respected, loved etc. I was speaking to his mother one day telling her all my woes when she blurted " maybe he is ADHD" this didn't mean much to me at the time, however I went away and did some googling, and read stories that sounded so much like my life, I sent some of the links to my partner and be too recognised these things in himself, he was amazed.
this is where I made my biggest mistake, I didn't push him to see a doctor and get a real diagnosis and treatment, and here I am after 10 great months, having just found out a few days ago, that he took $6500 out of our loan account for renovations for cocaine, he works away 8 weeks on 4 off, this is why I didn't notice, he was away, he was faced with no job, and some where in his disfunctional brain he decided taking cocaine would help him perform better and secure a new contract, but it obviously got out of control.
I didnt notice the money, as sadly for me 3 weeks prior to him using, he proposed to me, and financed the ring, I asked him to pay it off from the loan account so there was only one debt, and that's why he was able to go 8 weeks with out me noticing, it was only that my intuition told me I needed to look at the accounts that I noticed.
now I am a mess and he's having a pity party.
he is aware he needs help and I am going to make sure he sees a doctor and gets a refferal to a psyc.
i guess what I want to know is if mesdicated, he can't have stimulant meds, he has a heart condition and clearly sufferers with drugs use problems, but I am wondering how much the medication actually helps?
Will I always feel like he is emotionally retarded? Will I have to live my life always feeling like I am on edge, and expecting to be disappointed?
I accept that he may have this and things will never be 'perfect'
but just silly stuff like rushing to buy me gifts that I hate and having to pretend to like them? The broken promises and tendency to lies, does it ever get better or can I expect my life to be a constant battle?
Needless to say the lies about drugs and the money going toward my ring, I have taken the ring off and no longer can look at it, as it just is a big fat drug,lie horrid thing to me now.
these are all things he doesn't seem to 'get' how now that ring is just horrible to me cause he used it as a lie!
More than frustrated, any advice, info appreciated.