I am happy to find this webpage. I guess, my story here is a quite typical one. I have been dating a non treated ADD partner for several months (8). During which, we could really connect. We shared a lot of information about ourselves (inner wise): our childhood traumas, info about our parents, current anxieties, etc. It was going well, actually I felt safe and also supported. I could also give that support, although I did not want to jump in a relationship with him and I had talked about it at the begining of our relationship. He seemed to like the fact that we were taking things slow. The last couple of months were a bit tight in our relationship, as I was also going through some anxiety issues and I talked about them. It was tense but I thought it will eventually pass. My grandmother got sick several times back then and she was taken to the hospital. They told me that in order to take care of her, there might be restrictions if I did not get vaccinated (now, in covid times). So I managed to get it, although I knew this might create some problems with my partner, as he was utterly against it. Actually he warned all the people he could to not to take it. I respected his ways, I am not a pro-vaccine person but I took it, because I thought it was the right thing to do. As I mentioned it before, it was a tense period and I was also copying with my own things and these circumstances made me not to offer explanation about my decision to take the vaccine. There was this mayor issue with my granma, but I thought, I just got it and eventually we would talk about it later. Well... we did not. The day I got the vaccine and I told him (wanting to explain), he exploded and told me I abandoned him in his battle. Also that I put my comfort over his and he could not be with someone who does not respect his beliefs. I was so shocked I could not even react. After that, he hang up on me. We see each other several times per week as we trained together (he is my coach), we have a sport club together. First he was hostile, traying to engame me (only by texting) into his rage. After a while he changed and was nice. Now he is playing mind games by being nice (like: do you need help with this or that?) one time and mean, the other. A month went by. I need help to figure out how can I help and mend the relationship. I have incredible patience and I love him. I looked up ADD (he told me he had it under control, although he was not doing therapy while we were together). I have been studying buddhism for quite some time also and developed inner strength. I think I could mend it or improve it, if I had the tools and the knowledge. I am still thinking about telling him the whole granma issue (bc that was what made me take the vaccine and he still does not know this....), but I am not sure if facts can actually help.
Thank you for your help and support!