Hi. I am new in this page. And i am soooo glad that i saw this. Please guys help me. But please don't judge coz my story is really a bit weird. But your posts really help me alot. I just really wanna help this man who is very special to me.
I am mary, and i have a boyfriend who has ADHD. We are in a LONG distance relationship. I am 21 and he is 17. He admitted when we were still bestfriends that he has ADHD. He said he is hard on focusing. He had anger issues before which he said was now over. And i can see that.
He is very kind. Super very kind. When i ask him to do something he does it. He admitted he is a bit lazy. But when i ask him to do something like "pls clean your room before you go out" and eat proper diet he always do it without buts. Stuff like that. He had a broken family. His mom was married again to a man but sadly broke up so now his mom has another boyfriend living together. And he is with his dad. His dad is also married again but they always argue petty things which really i can feel that it affects him alot. He takes medication once a day everymorning. He tends to forget things but not often. He sees a doctor every month. But i read mostly with you guys that your partners are talkative. But my bf is not. He is likely to keep his problems from himself. And i am lucky that my heart knows when he has a problem. Idk why but i think it's a woman's instinct. He spends his time playing xbox and watching t.v. He always stays at his room for the whole day. Well he goes to the kitchen when dinner time. But mostly he wants to be alone. Coz of fam issues. His doctor gave him strong dosage of med which has side effects of headaches and moodswings. Because he was more focused on video games which i know is not because the fact we always talk alot. Which i am worried if that medicine e is taking now affects him coz he didn't tell his doctor about it.
My problem started after 6months. A week ago he just woke up sad. And soo dry. When i mean so dry like "yeah" oh, yup, okay. Like that. I thought he just had moodswings so i passed it out. Then last 2 days ago. I just felt unloved. Like he doesn't talk to me anymore not like he used to.he always do the first hi's and replies before. Maybe that was the hyperfocus thing.
Then i asked him what's wrong. He said he is confused he doesn't know why. He doesn't know what he is feeling. And i asked him if he still loves me. He said he really loves me. And he will never cheat on me which i felt that it's true. And then i tried searching clues for people with ADHD and seemed connected with what's happening with him
The thing here is, he sees a doctor but he doesn't tell what he really is feeling. Like what he feels with his family issue. Which he only tells me. He doesn't literally open up with his parents. What he feels. He admitted me that he is having a hard time trying to open up. He isn't good at starting conversations.
Last few months ago he had trouble sleeping because he feels so bad for himself for not helping his mom
When his step dad hit his mom. He really felt bad for himself. Which i kept telling him that it's okay. That his mom wouldn't want him to get hurt even more and wouldn't want him to urge into their argument.
Same with his dad's step mom which they always fight because of his dad finance problems just last week. I asked him if it bothers him alot with his family. And he said he thought of it sometimes why he had a family like that
I pity him :'( that's why i wanted to help him. He is very kind and gentleman. He knows his limits. He is not that worst not like others with ADHD which i just read here. Which now i worry because if he doesn't start telling his dad about his feeling right now it might get worst. I wanted to ask him if he wants to see a doctor but i don't want to offend him. And i know he will not tell his dad. Pls anyone who can read this. Tell me what to do. Coz i love him very much. We may break up. But i will still help him as a friend. Coz he is really alone with himself. And i am the only person he is trusting. Thankyou for taking the time to read my story. I never had known a person with ADHD before.