I have just found this site and think its awesome, have read a couple of posts and its like reading a page out of my journal.
I have been with my partner, Sam, for seven years. He has recently been diagnosed with Adult ADD/ADHD. Its amazing to finally have explanations for all those things that I put down to him being lazy, unmotivated, etc... BUT I feel like Sam uses this as a crutch.
We have a nine month old daughter together, and since she was born I have been feeling more and more resentful that he doesnt do more to help and/or get well. It got to a point where I felt like I was putting too much pressure on him and made the decision that we should separate for a period of time. This is very recent (Like I moved out 72 hours ago) and I am finding it so hard to cope. I miss him terribly and so does Isabella (Our DD). Ive left him everything, the house, the car, the furniture, the animals as I felt I couldnt leave without knowing he was going to be ok... and I feel like Ive lost everything. I feel like there might be no hope that things will work out for my family, cause I DESPERATELY want my family to be together and happy.
We decided that this wasnt a "Break Up" but a seperation. The financial issues were causing me to get severly depressed as he doesnt have a job (He has had MANY MANY jobs, but is unable at this stage to keep them) and so I have been working fulltime since our daughter was 3 months old as we literally had NO money to survive. The house work was never done as I was always exhausted by the end of the week, running around after Sam, Izzy and of course myself.
Sam says that he wants to try and work things out and that we will eventually be together again, but he also says things like he cant promise that we will be together as a couple at the end of this trial separation (We decided on a year, but MY GOD that is so hard to comprehend not being together for a year, so maybe re-assess in six months time...) I have suggested couples counselling which he is keen on, but doesnt want to start yet as he feels like he is trying to put too much on his plate at once.
This diagnosis is great as it gives and explanation of WHY he does the things he does. But I dont want it to be an excuse as it seems to have been in the past when he doctors dianosed him with bi-polar and depressed... We have seen a new doctor who picked up immediately that he was undiagnosed ADD/ADHD and he is still working out the medications as they dont seem to helping at the moment.
Has anyone got any advice for me as this is obviously the beginning of our journey with ADD/ADHD and I just want some tips on how to get through without him... I miss him so much and cant imagine my life without him as my other half...