Help Me Please

I was married to my husband for five years.  I was not told by his family of any problems. After we were married I began to notice strange behavior.  He seemed easily frustrated, he was always on the go, he would fly off quickly, he always felt as if he was the lesser person.  After about a year I spoke with family members about him and they told me of his behavior as a child.  He had attempted suscide several times, he would leave school, he was then and still is now a loner.  His social skills are strange to me, He would tell me he felt intimated by me.  His sleeping habits are not good. I was his 4th wife and now he's going to marry the 5th one.  We argured all the time, He said I lost him when we talked, he only liked to talk about 15 min, he would focus on tv a lot.  I was often referred as a southern black woman by him, he spoke very low of women from the south, even though he was born in the south.  We are now divorced and I have suffered a lot of emotional damage, often used profanity with me, he would always be sad afterwards. what I don't understand is how he could control it so well, Around people he is quiet.  Now that we are divorced, I have tried to remain friends with him but I find it difficult to do so.  He lashes out at me from time to time still it hurts badly.  He said I talk to much, when I ask what did I say he responds, see you talk to much.  Can someone help me, I need the him it has been a tremendous emotional strain on me.

Thanks 

4th wife

The question I would ask you is why you still need a man who treated you poorly, still treats you poorly, and has clearly moved on (and what about his 5th wife???!!  Clearly she sees his track record by now!)  Please give up on this person so that you have emotional energy for someone who is more deserving.  Get counselling if you can do so and understand that as long as you are focused on your ex, you have no time for letting someone new, and better, into your heart.  We fall in love in part because we are ready and available to do so.  By focusing on someone who is clearly unavailable, as well as not healthy, you are really only hurting yourself.

You do need help.  Please seek professionally counselling.

Melissa