Help my marriage is falling apart.

I just recently became aware of ADHD being the likely contributor to much hurt and pain in my life. I have joked for a long time about having ADD/ADHD not ever really taking it seriously or realizing how many aspects of one life it can effect. I have recently come to realize how much it encompasses. I have often fought with my wife over things in the house not getting done or forgetting to do things. I have honestly wanted to improve but the improvement is slow to come or neglect or forgotten about soon. I truly want to be a better husband and contributor to our life together and our children's lives (we have 5). The biggest hurdle though is I, without fully realizing it, get involved with other relationships that hurts ours. I will without realizing it get involved in a situation helping another woman and make poor decisions. I have never cheated on my wife, never had a sexual relationship of any manner outside of our ours. But I have given attention to other women, to the point of even ignoring my wife standing next to me. I truly love my wife and don't realize I'm engaging in these behaviors until she points it out and it has already done its damage. I have also lied about petty things in the past (smoking being a big one) probably due to insecurity. It has reached a point where I'm not sure it is recoverable. But I want to make a full on effort to save my life with the woman I love, keep our family together and improve my relationships with my children. I have no idea where to turn for help and have no insurance for extra money for counseling or therapy. Does anyone have suggestions for getting help? Thanks!