help please

Please help.

To make a long story short my husband was diagnosed with ADHD a child. He took medication briefly according to his mother, but did not like the way the medication made him feel. Fast forward, we have been married a little over 2 years, have a beautiful 10 month old daughter together. My husband has always been extremely impulsive according to his mother and had financial issues. I take it upon myself to handle all of the finances for the most part. However recently as of August & October my husband has started exhibiting criminal behaviors. While i was vacationing with my daughter, he took it upon himself to make himself a secondary user one of my credit cards, with out my consent. Charged about $1000 on that. He also took out a line of credit online via bill me later for $500, in my name with my social with out my consent. All in the same two week period!!!

Fast forward to now. We have a joint checking account together, my husband is in the Navy & I am a stay at home mom currently. Well after my husband got paid i noticed a $700 deduction from the bank from our joint account. Of course I freaked out!! Called the bank, only to find out my husband had filed a false fraud accusation to the bank, under my name/access number.

I have been in months of individual therapy, and truly do love this man but his impulses are making me hate him. I am fearful he is going to ruin my life. I don't understand how he is able to hold down a job "NAVY" for almost 10yrs, no problems at work. But his impulses and finances are a mess.  I just can't believe he stoops so low as to drag me down on his sinking ship.

Supposidly this week, he is scheduling an appointment for an eval at the naval health clinic facility but ill believe it when i see it. I told him i refuse to believe anything he says unless i can go with him, requiring me to get a POA to do so. He always says he will change, and doesn't want to lose his family, but the impulses and lying are just more than i can handle. We are going to marriage counseling at least..

What am i to do? If the navy suspects ADHD my husband will get kicked out. He doesn't want to lose his job, but i can't stay in this marriage unless he gets HELP!!!!

Please help.

Welcome to the forum but

Welcome to the forum but sorry you have to be here!  

Is your husband willing to have you accompany him to the appointment?  I agree it would be a good idea for you to go.  

I understand your concern about the security of your husband's job.  The therapist wouldn't be able to break doctor/patient confidentialitiy, right?  Are you worried that information will slip out some other way?  

I'm sorry that I don't have more advice.  But please keep coming to the forum and reading up on ADHD.