Help with Understanding ADHD versus ADD

Hi, I'll start with some background history: I've been married for 5 years now and when my husband and I first met he told me that he was diagnosed with ADD when he was a child but his mom who is diseased now said that he didn't have to take the medication prescribed. In telling me this he also said that nobody in his family knew being his father and his older sister.  I figured he told me because I am his wife, he really didnt get into detail as to why he told me. But reading some of the personal experiences on this website, it seems as though he may have ADHD too or instead. I am no expert that is why I am looking for help because many time I wanted to leave my husband because he seemed to be cold and distant. He says its because I broke his heart with my behavior towards him when my behavior is because I don't want a divorce but that I am at the same time being exhausted with what I have to take on myself because he is not supportive emotionally. I must say reading the post on this website has given me hope in my marriage. There also may be a possibility that my son may have this as well, but I withheld that information about my husband when asked about family history with ADD, I wasn't sure what to say as it seemed to be a secret. My son is in an ESE program getting speech, occupational and behavioral therapy since he was 3 years old. He has an IEP  if anyone is familiar with that. I was thinking of revealing this to his ESE coordinator at our upcoming evaluation because I don't want him to be ashamed as if it is something to be embarrassed about so that he can receive the help he needs throughout his life. Also because I see my husband now and how he may very well be in denial that he needs help. I just want to do what I can to be supportive as well as educated so that I don't burn myself out or rehash things that don't need to be repeated and look to a divorce as the only way out. So does anyone have any suggestions as to where I should start, my husband was diagnosed with ADD but this forum addresses ADHD and alot of what is shared here I can relate to in my marriage. Also this is something I can't discuss with his doctor because he doesn't have regular appointment, he just received health insurance at his job. My son has his own health insurance and I dont have medical insurance but receive the help I can get through the VA. Thank you in advance.

terms and degrees

Hi,  You'll need a couple of books, library if you can get something RECENT and geared to adults as well as kids, other wise buy them even if you have to forego something else.  ADHD is the preferred medical term.  But many adults don't have the "H" part.  There's three components to ADHD and most folks have a "dominant" characteristic (my guy's is inattention) but some factors of the other two.  You can have it without hyperactivity.  I prefer to use the term ADD because my guy doesn't exhibit physical hyperactivity, but it sure is in his mind!  Read all the articles and Melissa's blog posts, google "what is adult ADHD" and read reputable webites such as Mayo Clinic, etc. and you'll get a better understanding.  I'm not clear on your comment "I can't discuss this with his doctor because he doesn't have a regular appointment, he just received health insurance at his job."  Is the health insurance not effective yet?  I think it is AWESOME that you found hope on this website, many people have experiences you can learn from and strategies to try, and help keeping a good frame of mind.  Some folks are turned off by the "venting" but I find it is helpful to know it's not just me.  I'm not crazy.  Good luck! 

Sorry for the confusion, his

Sorry for the confusion, his insurance is effective but its complicated :o).  I think its a good idea to do the research first as you stated by going to the library and so forth. This forum has been a great place to start. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and reply to my post!

Understanding ADD

I think it's great that you're reaching out. As the other commentator said, doing some reading will build your knowledge. You should be able to get books through the library. There are a lot out there. After turbulent early years and about two years of counseling, my partner and I are very happy together. We've both come a long way. As for your son, I think it's important that children with ADD get support early. My partner has said over and over again that he wished he had had help dealing with his ADD when he was a child. In those days, however, ADD was not even a diagnosis. He lived with shame and confusion because he just couldn't meet up to people's expectations and he didn't know what to do about it. Good luck!

Yes, I was so excited when I

Yes, I was so excited when I found this site. Although I am not on here as often as I would like to be, starting with this post has been a motivator to take one step at a time. I think it is a good idea to start at the library and do some research and continuing to read the post on this site. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and reply to my post.