Hello everyone, sorry to show up so helpless. But I am.
My severe ADD husband is doing a bit better. Sleeping, and doing housework, and trying out new medication against emotional dysregulation.
I am trying to entangle my emotions after the wildly upsetting last few months. Cry often when alone. Realize I never relax. I try to catch every ball at home. I also do it with extended family, acquaintances and even strangers. I'm being hyper receptive to and compensate for their peculiarities, like a crazy person. It upsets me, it makes me want to cut people off, and I think I need to somehow tighten boundaries, but I don't know how.
What's to be done when you concluded long ago you will never get your needs met in a relationship? When no amount of effort will make the communication you depend on, flow. When you've come to think of this as a simple matter of fact. My sense of self-worth has eroded with it. Do I like my husband at all? I don't really know. His difficulties have been monstrous and they blot everything else out. I have a fierce need to protect and repair our life mostly for the sake of the children. But I feel sluggish with exhaustion. Unimportant.
I'm having a strange notion of all things dear to me slipping away. I'm not able to save them. I'm losing touch with my past. I can't turn to my extended family for help.
What do we do in these situations, friends?