Help.....New to site and need direction?

I dont know how to begin or even deal with this. I have read some stuff about herbal help? I dont have insurance so going to the Dr for help is really out of the question at this point. But I need to do something. I feel like I am losing my mind, I lose whole conversations because I am distracted and cant even remember having them. I feel like my mind is swiss cheese, just full of holes. I thought that maybe I was getting dementia or Alzheimers.... but after checking and reading about them I do not believe that is it. I am 42 and it is really starting to affect my life now, it is driving my fiance crazy, she calls it "shiny things" which just makes it worse. I wind up not dealing with the issue at hand and just try to keep her from hurting or going nuts.....which just makes me feel like I am losing my mind even more. I dont understand whats going on, but after reading some on this site it gives me a little hope, at least hope that I wont end up in a home or institution in a few years. I am a carpenter and a musician....work and music i remember everything and stay focused all the time. At home I am not....any help?

Education

There's a lot of misinformation out there, so I would stay away from web sites and start with reading all of the books by the moderators of this site.  Also their books reference other reputable books, so read (ok, maybe skim) those too.   You might start reading a lot that sounds like you, but I bet you'll also find some ways to restructure and cope.  Or you can ask your fiance if she is open to some research as well and giving you some honest feedback.  You could also talk to others who have older kids with or have ADHD themselves.  But honestly, without that formal evaluation from a good doctor (or doctors), there's no way to know for sure.  Even then it's tricky.  But in the meantime, start processing all the information you can find and you'll be prepared and informed when you do get to a doctor. 

Good luck.