My husband's job for the past almost four years has been as caregiver for his elderly parents. It began as a four-days per week gig; now he's there full time. Since starting this arrangement, my husband has almost never called when he is at his parents. (I'd estimate that he has called fewer than 20 times in the four years.) HIs mom's health has been deteriorating quite a bit this winter. I encouraged my husband to get his mom to the doctor (she hadn't even been outside the house n 8 months) to find out what was wrong with her, including whether she'd be eligible for hospice care. Hospice care: people coming to the house! Husband and his dad getting some respite! I called H two weeks ago, just before the doctor's appointment. He told me it was good to talk with me and he'd call back the next night. Of course, he didn't. I was very curious about what was going on, and also concerned, because he didn't respond to an email I sent yesterday (and resent today) that said "Please acknowledge." I called him tonight. His mom is getting hospice services! Yay! H didn't thank me; he didn't ask about my life; he didn't ask about our daughters. He talked about himself and his life. I asked him if he would tell one of his brothers that I was the one who first suggested getting hospice care for their mom. I could tell that H's reaction was, "Um, why?" Well, the reason is that H previously managed to leave this brother with the impression that the only reason H doesn't spend any time at our home is because I've made him unwelcome (basically rewriting the history of our relationship). H still doesn't get why this bothers me and doesn't understand why I'd like him to rehabilitate my image with his brother. I feel as though I don't exist.