He's mad, I'm mad & I am losing my mind!

My husband gets really mad at me whenever I say anything about ADHD, unless it doesn't involve him. He can recognize that our son being treated for ADHD is a good thing, and that his behavior when he's not on his medicine is frustrating and annoying. He even goes as far as to get upset with our son for being annoying, and it is so maddening because when these situations occur and he is annoyed with our son he tells him to get off him and don't be a pest, you're annoying etc,.....which makes me so mad because the truth is HE ACTS EXACTLY THE SAME WAY!!!! HE IS SO ANNOYING AND PESTERS ME ALL THE TIME!!!!!! THE THINGS HE SAYS TO ME AND TO OTHER PEOPLE MAKE ME SO MAD, IT'S SO EMBARASSING!!!! What the heck?!?!?! Why can't he see it, it's as plain as the nose on his face!? Why is he okay with our son taking meds for ADHD but has a problem with him also having it? I'm so sick and tired of the rude, disrespectful, immature, inappropriate stuff that he says that I believe my head may actually start spinning on my shoulders soon. At least once a day (it's a really good day if not) I am nearly frustrated to tears. I find myself very often fighting back tears and getting mad to avoid being upset. I am at my wits end and do not know what to do. If I were to ever leave him he would fall apart, I am the back bone for our family and I do not want my son to have a father who, for lack of better terms, just isn't great. After becoming so resentful and upset all the time I'm now having a really hard time not being really shitty towards him when his ADHD behavior is upsetting me, I'm so over it, I just want relief but so far I'm not willing to stop sacrificing my mental health for it, I feel like I have no choice.

And you know, the kicker is that he doesn't always act this way. It's like he can control himself in situations with my family around or in business settings but when we are alone or around close friends or his family (who seem to all have severe ADHD) it's no hold barred and say anything regardless of how horrible it sounds. I am so blessed to be the closest person to him so there is NEVER, EVER a filter on the things I hear, I HATE IT. For a very long time I blamed his upbringing because his parents act the same way but now that I am in my thirties, I don't care what the reasons are - I'm so sick and tired of all the seriously disgusting comments about sex, race, religion, I mean literally nothing is off limits. Nothing.  Every show on tv, everything in the news, every person we know - the comments are so aggravating and yes, people think these things - but we keep them to ourselves!!! And the constant "joking" - ya sure, that's funny IF IT'S ONCE AND A WHILE?!?! DUH!!!!!!!!!!

Losing my marbles, thanks for letting me vent.